Having completed week 1 of both one year and one year at work, I’ve learned some really interesting things about myself. First off, it’s a lot less frightening to stay on top of making the bed or wiping down counters if you think if it as something that you’re doing for today. It comes back every day, but it’s not as scary. I guess the whole idea of being scheduled freaks me out more than I realized.
The main thing that I learned is that I do not have a clear understanding of how long something should take. I get frustrated with myself when it takes longer than I think it should, but my estimations are not rooted in reality. For example, I tell Phil it takes 20 minutes to grade a paper, but realistically, because I get distracted, it likely takes more like 30 to 40 minutes to grade a paper. I also can’t estimate how long it will take me to, say, go to the library or go to the doctor. I saw that while I was ill after having Katie. I estimated that it would take us 30 to 40 minutes to get back from my doctor’s office, but I didn’t factor in rush hour, so it ended up taking us over an hour. This was not cool for my sister, who was watching the kids, and it wasn’t cool for me because I was very stressed.
I also realized, though I had kind of done this before, that what I do for a living is not really my passion. I like teaching, don’t get me wrong. However, I learned while I was so ill that if my last day on earth had been made up of completing course design and resolving a grade issue instead of spending time with my son and husband, I would have had a lot to answer for. Now, this is not to say that I shouldn’t work at all, but I think it means that I need to find better balance for my work and find a way to keep it from eating up every bit of my home life as it does now.
I hadn’t realized, until I started tracking my time for work and made a percentage chart of how much time I spend on various things, just how much time I spend on a computer. I think it’s okay to be connected and to be online, but I think letting it eat up everything else is something that I need to stop. I need to draw some limits and I learned that through my one year experience.
This week is more brain work while I figure out where I want to go with my career AND work on developing a better relationship with time. It should be interesting.