February 3 in 30: Goals

3in30 Challenge

Positive Parenting Solutions

My goal here is to work on completing the sessions and worksheets. There are six sessions, total, and I’ve completed one, so I have five to go and this is the month that I’m determined to get through them and start applying the techniques that I’m learning.

Drink More Water

My plan here is to drink two 32 oz. glasses of water per day. So, it’s really more specific than drink “more” water, but that’s definitely more than I’ve been drinking and I’m hoping it will help to stave off my usual March bout with bronchitis.

28 Days To Hope for Your Home

Honestly, this could not have come at a better time. I cannot get organized. I cannot keep the house clean. I don’t know why these tasks seem insurmountable, but they do. So, this featured challenge is perfect for me. I’ve already done the first two days, and my wonderful husband did the third day without even realizing it for me because I have a cold.

This is the weekly link up page. Please go there if you’re joining in, want to see what others are doing and so forth.

 

January 3 in 30: Week 4

3in30 Challenge

Mind-Body-Soul Time

This really has been one of the best things that I’ve done for myself and for the kids. I’m getting know them a lot better (which, I know, sounds nuts given that I homeschool them and see them every day), and I think they both feel more valuable to the family as a whole.

Get the Kids More Involved in the Household

The Motivated Moms thing is going out of the window, today. It is simply not working for us right now. It has worked in the past, and I think when I get this crazy class behind me, it can work again, but there’s just so much happening, I feel like I have to find an “easier” way to manage the house. To that end, new chart being made tonight and implemented tomorrow. Hoping that with fewer things on it, we’ll all feel better able to manage the house and that we’ll all feel like we’re valued, contributing members to the culture of our family.

31 Days To Build A Better Spouse

I think this has worked for us in ways I couldn’t have predicted. Has it made P a completely new person? Of course not. Has it softened my attitude toward some of his foibles? You bet. So, I think this has been a win and something that I’m going to continue for the next month in a less structured way. Perhaps more praying in color or something like that.

This is the weekly link up page. Please go there if you’re joining in, want to see what others are doing and so forth.

January 3 in 30: Week 2 & 3

3in30 Challenge

Mind-Body-Soul Time

Still managing this quite well. Most days both kids get one on one time and they seem to be thriving with it. Clearly one of the better decisions I’ve made. Need to keep this going for them and for me.

Get the Kids More Involved in the Household

We have been dividing the chores each week and the kids have attempted a couple of them. Ben is making huge strides with keeping his room clean and remembering to put his clothes in his hamper. We’ve had a few glitches with toys in the living room and with some of the more involved chores due to my work schedule being way more full than I anticipated this term. We may have to rethink the Motivated Moms part of this and create something that is more doable for us in this season of our lives. Worth the thought.

31 Days To Build A Better Spouse

I’m keeping this up well. Mostly in the morning with the daily office, but sometimes I don’t get to any of it until the evening. I’m trying to be more precise with it and more determined in my focus. We’ll continue to see.

This is the weekly link up page. Please go there if you’re joining in, want to see what others are doing and so forth.

January 3 in 30: Week 1

3in30 Challenge

Mind-Body-Soul Time

We have managed this. There have been days where the ten minutes turned into thirty minutes, but otherwise, both kids are getting some one-on-one time with me where their interests dominate.

Get the Kids More Involved in the Household

We sat down and divided up the chores, but then we got swept up in some household craziness and didn’t get as far with the chores this week as we’d hoped. We’ll divide the chores again tomorrow and see if we can make a better stab at finishing things next week.

31 Days To Build A Better Spouse

This has been going really well. I’ve linked it up with my Daily Office readings and just plug away a little every day. I have to believe that it will ultimately have an effect even if it doesn’t seem to be in the beginning.

This is the weekly link up page. Please go there if you’re joining in, want to see what others are doing and so forth.

January 3 in 30: Goals

3in30 Challenge

Mind-Body-Soul Time

This is a concept described in Amy McCready’s Positive Parenting Solutions class (and her book, If I have to Tell You One More Time …). ¬†The idea is that you spend ten minutes of uninterrupted time with each child, each day, that is child directed. That means the child chooses the activities and so forth. My goal here is to ddo this with each of my kids every day this month.

Get the Kids More Involved in the Household

My goal here is to use the Motivated Moms chore chart to help divide the household workload and to help  them learn new skills. I think this is going to be interesting and hopefully helpful to all of us in maintaining the house.

31 Days To Build A Better Spouse

This is a challenge going on this month based on a book by the same title. I’m hoping that joining into this will help ME think more about P and his needs as my health issues seem to be heading toward resolved..

This is the weekly link up page. Please go there if you’re joining in, want to see what others are doing and so forth.

Please note this is the first post written using my new keyboard hooked up to my iPad. I’ve tried to catch all the errors, but if I’ve missed any, I’m sorry.

 

B90Days: The Marriage Post

Last week during the tweet chat for the Read the Bible in 90 days challenge being hosted by Amy at Mom’s Toolbox the question came up about when marriage became the paired relationship that we now know as opposed to the polygamous relationships that we see in the early Old Testament (like Solomon and his 700 wives and countless concubines). I mentioned that I had some resources on this buried in my office someplace and I’d try to dig them up to shed some light on this area, which I will do, but FIRST, a disclaimer.

I am NOT an historian. I am an eighteenth-century TransAtlantic non-fiction prose specialist. Otherwise known as an English professor. If we were talking about the Eighteenth Century, I would be on much surer footing and could talk, easily, about the development of the companionate marriage (defined and described by Lawrence Stone) which is far closer to our modern marriage construct than even what we see in the 17th century and certainly in the New Testament. Also, I am primarily doing this from memory, so if you have something to add, the comments are open and you’re welcome add to the discussion.

The argument seems to run that the reason that we see more polygamous marriages than paired marriages, particularly in the Old Testament, is directly related to wars and the availability of men. The more times numerous men are slaughtered, the fewer there are to continue the family line and the more easily the remaining males could obtain additional wives (or were required to; remember, God requires in the Old Testament that a brother marry his brother’s widow in order to continue his brother’s line). These were viewed as marriage and seen as acceptable. It also seems that even in polygamous marriages the first wife had primacy of place and was allowed some extra measure of interest (note the discussions in Esther, for example, of the King’s first wife as he is searching for another) or protection. The first son of the first wife typically was the recognized heir. Though, we certainly see that circumvented time and again by both second wives and second sons (think Rebekah and Jacob).

We see a shift away from discussions of multiple wives in the New Testament. Now, the argument on some more conservative sites is that Jesus told us to follow the Lord’s commandments, and they believe that this means returning to the one woman/one man model seen in Adam and Eve through roughly Noah. Others suggest that it was the influence of Greco-Roman culture on the Jews that caused the shift from polygamous to monogamous marriages. The primary marriage model in both Greek and Roman cultures emphasize one spouse per “customer” so to speak. Also, it seems likely that as the Israelites were becoming more settled it would be less necessary to maintain more nomadic models of family structure. Nomadic models tend to rely on one protector and numerous followers, so that also might play a role in the reasons why we see more polygamy in the Old Testament rather than the New Testament.

It’s also important to keep in mind that the notion of marriage as we’ve come to understand it, doesn’t actually exist until, well, some date it as late as the early 20th century (romance novels notwithstanding). Generally, marriage was seen as a means of ensuring family lines, property exchange, and so forth more than as an emotional commitment.

Possibly the earliest marriage for love in literature is Samuel Richardson’s Pamela where the “master” of the household takes a strong liking to one of the household servants and ultimately rather than compromise her virtue, he marries her. We start seeing that model rise more frequently in the novels of the Romantic period, but those do not, strictly, reflect the relationship culture of the time period. It is more likely that we could say that the literature reflects what people wish was happening, not what was actually happening.

Clearly, this is not authoritative, but it does offer some ideas about why there’s a shift and where the shift seems to occur. As a final note, if you are a student who is thinking this is a good thing to submit to your professor DON’T DO IT! Do your own research! My conclusions are my own and you might reach different conclusions by reading around on your own.