GTT: I Get to Bitch

Oh, what an excellent day for this. The only problem is most of the things I want to bitch about, I can’t talk about. Sigh. And I just did that whole ranting post the other day about how I’m tired of being sick, so yeah, maybe I was two days early with that one.

Ah, but I do have something I can bitch about: kids’ clothes. I hate that t-shirts for my son are impossible to find without either tons of crappy advertising on them or stupid slogans. I’m sorry, but I don’t want my son running around with “Lock up your daughters” scrawled across his chest. I also don’t want him to be a product advertisement for Mario Brothers. He has a couple of character shirts (Cars and Toy Story), but the majority of his t-shirts are plain WalMart t-shirts because at least they don’t have slogans on them.

I hate that clothes for my FIFTEEN MONTH old daughter have things like “diva,” “princess,” “spoiled” etc., scrawled across various parts of her anatomy. She’s a sweet little girl with a great temperament, but even if she wasn’t I would not want her to have that stuff written on her. It’s easier, though, to find little girl clothes that aren’t as obnoxious, but you have to pay serious money for them. As if good taste is something you can only have if you have money.

What is WRONG with people?

I’m beyond mad about the health care reform situation. I do not understand how it can be so hard for people to understand that something has to happen and that the Republican “option” isn’t truly an option, it’s NOTHING. They’ve got NOTHING. All they have is the ability to say, I don’t think X or Y or Z is a good idea. And if that’s all you’ve got, then you’re not bringing ideas and you should probably shut. it. Simultaneously, I do not understand Democrats at all. They have the majority and they act like they’re still in the minority. The Republicans never had the mythical 60, and yet they managed to get things passed all the time. What is the hold up here? I understand they want to be bipartisan, but that requires the other team to be willing to play. They’re not suiting up, they’re not getting on the field, they’re not playing ball, so take the ball and SCORE with it. Why is this so hard? They’re not going to like you because you’re trying to get them to play, so stop trying to be liked and do the job you were “hired” for.

And don’t get me started on homeschooling in the state of Florida. I’m seriously considering buying a boxed curriculum just to be able to show checked off lists of stuff that he’s learned. Trying to do this on my own is making me crazy. Crazier. I can’t actually teach like that, but I could try, I guess. I don’t know. I’m utterly not sure what to do.

Oh, and I hate how women’s clothes are sized. I’m a bunch of different sizes depending on which store I’m in and which manufacturer I’m dealing with. Why can’t there be a consistent form of measurement. I’m also sick of return policies that don’t make sense or that make me jump through a half-dozen or more hoops in order to return something.

I’m stressed, I’m tired, and I just don’t want to think about all the participation I have to grade. My final point that I bitch about on a regular basis. I hate grading. I love to teach. I love to help students develop their ideas and gain skills, but I HATE grading them on those skills. I hate having to evaluate participation in particular because it’s just a pain. I mean, if you participate, that’s great, but if you don’t spell check and you don’t do all the other things that are required, you shouldn’t be surprised if you don’t get full points for your post, and yet so many are. Very irritating.

I really get tired of the notion that if you made an attempt you should get full credit. My son gets “credit” for trying, but he doesn’t get total adulation for trying UNLESS he also does it right. (whatever it is).

Man, I am so glad I didn’t give up complaining for Lent, you know?

Now, if you want to know what ticks off other people go check out: Girl Talk Thursday, you’ll get a laugh at the very least.

Tired of Being Tired

I plan to write a Top Ten Tuesday post today, and I will, but right now, I’m too busy feeling sorry for myself and I need to get this out.

I’m tired of being sick and I’m tired of being tired. I’m tired of having to take and record my blood pressure every morning and every evening. I’m tired of having to leave the laundry room door open so the absence of sound reminds me that I was doing laundry. I’m tired of having the concentration powers of a hummingbird. I’m tired of realizing every day that I’m failing at motherhood and I’m failing at caring for my dogs. I’m tired of P having to worry about whether he can do something he really wants to do because he’s not sure that I can care for the house, the kids, the dogs, and myself without killing myself (unintentionally; not suicide, unless you consider trying to do everything when there’s a good chance that trying to do that is going to make me very sick, suicidal).

And I’m tired of not being strong enough to do the things that I want to do. I went to a sewing expo this past weekend for two of the four days it was running. By the end of the second day, I knew that I had made a big, gigantic mistake regarding my level of energy and my ability to cope. I’ve agreed to go to graduation this year for the school that I teach for. I’m now frantic about the decision because the pace for those two days is even more hard core than what I did at the sewing thing, and I’m afraid of what that will mean when I come home.

I’m tired of not being able to be spontaneous. I’m tired of not getting to work my younger dog or play with my kids in the way they would like. I’m tired of looking at the pile of quilts and crafts and thinking that I just can’t do any of that.

I’m tired of having to buy bread and cakes because I don’t even have the energy to mix up the stuff to put it in the bread machine. I’m tired of classes completely draining me and, ultimately, stripping away my censors so that I end up saying things I would just not say.

I’m tired of being told that if I’d just lose weight I’d feel better; if I’d just work out, I’d feel better; if I’d just put Ben in school instead of homeschooling him, I’d feel better. Working out wears me flat out. I get a real endorphin rush for a bit and then I’m flat out exhausted. I can’t work; I can’t think. I can’t be there for my kids, my dogs, or my husband.

I’m tired of being terrified that something is going to happen to Sam and I’m not going to be able to help her.

I’m just flat out tired.